Episodes

Jan. 11, 2023

Yes. THAT poison. [SG1 S5E15]

Daniel's going on a covert op! What could go wrong? Remember Zipacna? Neither did we, but he's back. The Tokra are all wearing pants for once, but then they're caught with them down. Maybe that's why they don't like to wear pants.

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Jan. 4, 2023

Super Poopers [SG1 S5E14]

Teal'c gets stuck in the transporter...er, um, stargate. Jack and Maybourne have an adventure. Sam gets saddled with a useless misogynist. Q gets arrested! Somehow Daniel is a better mediator than the actual mediator.

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Dec. 28, 2022

Why is this a thing? [SG1 S5E13]

Somebody call Senator Kinsey! The SGC hatch budget is out of control!

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Dec. 21, 2022

Stargatexing [SG1 S5E12]

The real deal O'Neill is stuck babysitting Marty again. Teal'c brushes up on his culinary skills. Sam continues to be bad ass, and in heels no less. Daniel...is also there.

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Dec. 14, 2022

Never Trust Kelsey Grammer [SG1 S5E11]

Never take suppositories by IV and don’t eat pizza from random doctors who are holding you captive. Also don’t drink orange juice with your ham and cheese sandwich. That’s gross. Only user 4574 does that. But do go ahead and put gummi bears in yo ...

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Dec. 7, 2022

Horizontal Toilet Gates [SG1 S5E10]

a.k.a. The Curse of Sam Carter a.k.a. Everything’s More Fun With Tribbles a.k.a. The Toilet Goes Both Ways a.k.a. Universe’s Most Effective Smug-Face Competition a.k.a. Gym Scotch a.k.a. Heroic Scraps of Paper

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Nov. 30, 2022

Between Two Fries [SG1 S5E9]

Omoc's funeral is very small and sad. Probably because he was terrible. Turns out a lot of other Tollan are kinda terrible too (but for different reasons). Mary's apartment smells like rotten pumpkin. Schrodinger is fat and happy somewhere and def ...

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Nov. 23, 2022

WHA! {SG1 S5E8]

Jack doesn't play well with others. Marduklarin was forced to play with others when he had to find a new host. Mary doesn't have time to play with others.

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Nov. 16, 2022

The Grass is Cleaner [SG1 S5E7]

"The episode was boring. There was a lot of Unas speaking Unas language and Daniel haphazardly trying to translate and they were taken as slaves and then they got free the end." - Mary

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Nov. 9, 2022

Wine and Gummi Bears [SG1 S5E6]

We're starting to worry about the SGC. Hammond makes an especially bad decision and Dr. Frasier is really a pretty terrible doctor. On top of that, Daniel just can't stop touching stuff. On the bright side, Cassandra gets turned into an X-Man!

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Nov. 2, 2022

Size Matters...in Astrophysics [SG1 S5E5]

Sam plays with her food again. Jack gets mad again. Hammond wastes a MALP again. Teal'c waits outside again. The science is really bad again.

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Oct. 26, 2022

Don’t they know what the red phone is for? [SG1 S5E4]

Today we talk all about anatomy and physiology exams, President John Tyler, industrial piercings, the red phone, phone operators, what acetylcholine does, and how Botox works. Also Q shows up again to menace SG 60%.

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Oct. 19, 2022

Take It Sleazy [SG1 S5E3]

Don't be creepy, whether you're a human, a Q, or any other type of alien.

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Oct. 12, 2022

No Clips, All Head [SG1 S5E2]

The moral of the story is "Never trust a smiley Jaffa."

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Oct. 5, 2022

Cronus’s Thronusus [SG1 S5E1]

SG ¾ (plus Jacob) tries to deal with an evil version of Teal’c, Apophis, a bunch of blasphemous jaffa, a replicator invasion, and a Magic 8 Ball whose only answer is “The universe says ‘maybe.’” It’s just layers and layers of enemies and frenemies.

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Sept. 28, 2022

How do you know where to stand? [SG1 S4E22]

Life lessons from SG1: As soon as you get a new mother ship, people are gonna bug you to help them move. Also, spilling your whole plan to a villain who handily takes down three guards and tells everyone what you're doing will only lead to having t ...

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Sept. 24, 2022

SG1's Gotta SG1 {S4 E21]

Daniel loses his head. Sam get’s blown up and then electrocuted. Jack gets in a fist fight with himself and Teal’c finally gets to avenge his father’s death. Meanwhile, Mary and Kathy both rant about people who don’t understand Connecticut.

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Sept. 14, 2022

It's Definitely a Probe [SG1 S4E20]

Pwalter’s console explodes and he gets thrown across the room. Sam gets taken over by an unknown entity. Jack almost kills her. Frasier’s constantly holding back tears. Hammond fails at lockdown. No one will hold Siler’s flashlight. Kathy goes t ...

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Sept. 7, 2022

Never Forget It's a Moon, People [SG1 S4E19]

Mary and Kathy have a lot to say. Some of it is about the episode.

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Aug. 31, 2022

We Want Ice Cream and Puppies [SG1 S4E18]

You know what's a good show? "Soap." Also "Better Off Ted." Or maybe go watch "Lower Decks" or "Clue" or something.

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Aug. 24, 2022

A Big, Long Wick [SG1 S4E17]

If the instrument is broken, the music will be sour. If a sandstorm is a child, the wind will be wise beyond its years. If an archaeologist is given knowledge and power, fire will rain down from above. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is th ...

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Aug. 17, 2022

Grood [SG1 S4E16]

PWALTER FINALLY GETS A NAME!

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Aug. 10, 2022

Pooh Bearin' For All! [SG1 S4E15]

Jack wears some big pants. Maybourn uses the internet! Kinsey has a very good boy. Bauer, the new boss, will not let Sam Sam it out. Daniel and Teal'c disapprove.

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Aug. 3, 2022

A Sh*tload of Stealth Ships [SG1 S4E14]

We discuss power washing simulators, the history of dyes, and children's songs. Also SG1 does some stuff.

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