Episodes

Rodney ruins everything. Jonas Quinn can't lose. Jack is good at cake but bad at elevators. Anubis continues to be a rather feckless villain. And we finally learn how they got the gate into the mountain. But then the gate explodes. If only there ...

Kathy wins the lottery but then claims to lose it so she doesn’t have to share. Sam wears a blue uniform jacket. Jonas is stuck cleaning out all Daniel’s crap bc the team doesn’t want to do it yet again. Mary finally learns what her uncle was REAL ...

Just convenient plot devices all the way down.

Daniel still can't stop touching stuff. And for a bunch of macguffin reasons, it ends worse for him than usual this time.

Welcome to Latona! A wretched hive with one normal way in and one back way. Where we hide our most precious technology in an obvious pile of wood and Kathy's brother is actually a Jaffa!

Some people just never learn. LIKE THE ENTIRE SGC for example. Also we ask the important questions in life, such as, "Does Hammond wear tear-away pants?" And Kathy shares some good advice on life, like "Don't befriend people who clearly want to de ...

Never trust the orderly from "While You Were Sleeping" if he sends you on a suicide mission.

It’s just "Armageddon" but with more Canadians.

Daniel continues to be bad at his job, the Tok'ra don't really understand geometry. Yet again, a person admits to loving Sam and then immediately dies.

Daniel's going on a covert op! What could go wrong? Remember Zipacna? Neither did we, but he's back. The Tokra are all wearing pants for once, but then they're caught with them down. Maybe that's why they don't like to wear pants.

Teal'c gets stuck in the transporter...er, um, stargate. Jack and Maybourne have an adventure. Sam gets saddled with a useless misogynist. Q gets arrested! Somehow Daniel is a better mediator than the actual mediator.

Somebody call Senator Kinsey! The SGC hatch budget is out of control!

The real deal O'Neill is stuck babysitting Marty again. Teal'c brushes up on his culinary skills. Sam continues to be bad ass, and in heels no less. Daniel...is also there.

Never take suppositories by IV and don’t eat pizza from random doctors who are holding you captive. Also don’t drink orange juice with your ham and cheese sandwich. That’s gross. Only user 4574 does that. But do go ahead and put gummi bears in yo ...

a.k.a. The Curse of Sam Carter a.k.a. Everything’s More Fun With Tribbles a.k.a. The Toilet Goes Both Ways a.k.a. Universe’s Most Effective Smug-Face Competition a.k.a. Gym Scotch a.k.a. Heroic Scraps of Paper

Omoc's funeral is very small and sad. Probably because he was terrible. Turns out a lot of other Tollan are kinda terrible too (but for different reasons). Mary's apartment smells like rotten pumpkin. Schrodinger is fat and happy somewhere and def ...

Jack doesn't play well with others. Marduklarin was forced to play with others when he had to find a new host. Mary doesn't have time to play with others.

"The episode was boring. There was a lot of Unas speaking Unas language and Daniel haphazardly trying to translate and they were taken as slaves and then they got free the end." - Mary

We're starting to worry about the SGC. Hammond makes an especially bad decision and Dr. Frasier is really a pretty terrible doctor. On top of that, Daniel just can't stop touching stuff. On the bright side, Cassandra gets turned into an X-Man!

Sam plays with her food again. Jack gets mad again. Hammond wastes a MALP again. Teal'c waits outside again. The science is really bad again.

Today we talk all about anatomy and physiology exams, President John Tyler, industrial piercings, the red phone, phone operators, what acetylcholine does, and how Botox works. Also Q shows up again to menace SG 60%.

Don't be creepy, whether you're a human, a Q, or any other type of alien.

The moral of the story is "Never trust a smiley Jaffa."

SG ¾ (plus Jacob) tries to deal with an evil version of Teal’c, Apophis, a bunch of blasphemous jaffa, a replicator invasion, and a Magic 8 Ball whose only answer is “The universe says ‘maybe.’” It’s just layers and layers of enemies and frenemies.