Episodes

"Silence of the Lambs" meets "The X-Files." But stupid. And boring.

When we miss a week of recording because Kathy is sick, we get by with a little help from our friend, ChatGPT. Enjoy this holiday/SGC-themed diversion.

Pwalter explains his job. Teal'c has no comment. Jack hates Kinsey and loves Mary Steenburgen. Bregman hangs in hallways. We're off to a fun start but it all goes downhill from there.

The Jaffa don't trust the Tok'ra or Tau'ri. The Tok'ra don't trust the Tau'ri or Jaffa. The Tau'ri don't trust the Jaffa or the Tok'ra. Nobody trusts Jacob. Probably because he doesn't drink coffee.

Sam and Daniel are both bad at relationships but for totally different reasons. Teal'c shows off his bench-pressing prowess. Also Jack is there.

Everything's fine. We just don't talk about some things. It's fine.

We finally learn the secret that everyone has been dying to know: the full lyrics to 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Then it's just an episode of "Star Trek: Strange New Worlds" minus the whimsy.

Burke makes it rain (Zombie Chalo).vvDaniel plays with his shoe. Anubis likes to connect face to liquid filled hood. Things have gotten weird.

Yes, another "Chekhov's" title. There's an Indiana Jones movie inside this Stargate episode. Mary shares some of the many ways the heart will kill you. Kathy definitely said Ham(m).

We suddenly learn that, this whole time all the Jaffa, including Teal'c, have been doing it wrong because a real Jaffa would never kill another Jaffa under any circumstances. And Mary can only get through talking about this boring episode by pretend ...

Sam writes code on a whiteboard. Felger paints minifigs. Chloe ties a tie, kind of. Mary wants coffee. Kathy obsesses over bears. Pretty low stakes episode. Until the entire gate system crashes.

Description idea: It's a very culinary-themed episode! Teal'c and Eamon search for green jello. Sam destroys suns for breakfast. We discuss the flavor of Tech Con Group Sports Drink and lab grown meat. Hopefully they don't taste like despair. Or ...

Ever seen 'Fern Gully'? Or 'Avatar'? Yeah. It's that.

It's an episode all about Daniel, with special guests: the friends in Daniel's head.

This episode brings up a lot of big questions about life, death, memory, AI, and, most importantly, where does SG-1 keep their hazmat gear?

Life lessons from SG1: Weakness is unacceptable. You may as well be dead. Don't share needles. Unless you've already shared a half-dead hagfish. Then it's okay. Sometimes you just need to die and then figure out how to be resurrected in order t ...

Jack's clothes fit even worse than before when he's turned into a teenager again. Daniel gives false hope to a bunch of alien abductees. Kathy teaches us how to date a middle aged nerd.

Jack shoots a fan. Sam states the obvious. Daniel doesn't remember for NO GOOD REASON. Teal'c makes friends with Ba'aal. Jonas LEAVES. WAAAAHHH. 1.25 is better than 1, right? Stay here, Jonas Quinn!

We talk about bears and gardening and Star Wars. Also, Daniel is back. Yay?

Daniel, what is the point of you? We're not sure we'll ever know, but at least we get a tour of a bunch of different old sci-fi movies with this episode.

Jonas Quinn can predict what's for lunch! It's applesauce! No, wait, that's just Mr. Mot. They're actually having Mexican.

The SGC is shockingly bad at planning ahead in case things go wrong. For the record, assuming a standoffish alien will come save you is not a good contingency plan. At least most of the people on the planet they find are as oddly trusting as the SGC ...

Teal'c's in the hospital! He's a fireman! He has no tattoo! But then he does! He's a Jaffa! And he's in the SGC! And on a battlefield! Don't worry, T. Daniel will make it all better.

The SGC's lax security and SG1's tendency to blindly trust everyone they meet gets them in trouble. This description could also be applied to just about every other episode.