Episodes

Jack gets dressed down by a captain and is called an underlining by Master Teal’c. Hammond is a lord. Rank means nothing anymore.

Jack chews some dirty ground straw. Daniel mumbles. Teal'c does not weigh the same as a duck. Sam's there, too...

Aris Boch learns that maybe the real roshna is the friends we made along the way.

Happy Holidays!

Science, blah blah blah, goatees, blah dee blah, Kawalsky!

It’s a good thing our education system doesn’t work like this or else Mary wouldn’t have a job.

When you see zombies, think aliens, not schizophrenia.

Negotiations! The Goa'uld demand cookies in exchange for not destroying Earth.

The team finds a new gym to work out at and then, after a good workout, they join a cult. Except for Teal’c who decides to drive around in a tank for a while instead.

Jack gets a hagfish. Hammond has an adventure. Teal'c makes a speech. Sam blows up some stuff. Daniel gets an owie.

Mary and Kathy try to put aside their bad moods to talk about Stargate, only to discover it's a CLIP SHOW. AAAAHHHH!!!!

James T. Kirk a.k.a. Luke Skywalker and the team get some groovy threads, meet young Hammond, and hang out with the Electric Mayhem.

Mary and Kathy are on vacation, so this is as clever as we can manage to get with the episode description. This message brought to you by beer and happiness.

The team tries to see how many miles they can walk in a day, Daniel pretends he’s an airplane, and Kathy and Mary want more nudity.

Apophis is older than he's ever been And now he's even older And now he's even older And now he's even older. He's older than he's ever been And now he's even older, And now he's older still.

The team plays musical chairs with their bodies, some rando hates on the beloved Dr. Fraiser, and Mary and Kathy fan-girl out over Christopher Judge.

Fun science with Mary! Sam plays with her food. Teal'c takes us to the gun show. Jack reconnects with an old friend. Everyone dies several times.

We talk archaeology, sci-fi, and ancient aliens with our favorite college prof!

We've lost the fallatus to write episode descriptions. Cruvus.

Abandy Hammy alone and sad, sends the team out but they get so mad. Teal’c's within his rights to dismember you. To save the Gate in the Crate, Jack shoots at NID crew. Maybourne is up to his usual shenanigans and Kathy and Mary throw out quotes ...

The FRIENDS of the Salish punish the SGC for their deception. Daniel makes peace and everyone is FRIENDS in the end.

The team is still stuck in Tokra'ville where crime is running rampant. There's a traitor in their midst, the Tok'ra are struggling with their illicit hagfish trade, and the Goa'uld are coming to wipe them all out! But on the bright side, Jacob gets ...

The team takes a trip to Tok'raville, where people don't wear pants and want to get inside their heads, literally. Meanwhile, on Earth, Kathy and Mary rush to get this episode posted before a hurricane hits Connecticut.

No, really. Eww.