Episodes

Sam just can't resist giving computer access to any rando that wants it. At least Teal'c is there holding the Big Gun with his big guns for protection. Meanwhile, Jack's off having dreams about two Sams. Fun Fact: This episode is the winner of Ca ...

Earth people: Like us, even though we woke up all your deadliest enemies and bring guns to peaceful negotiations! Everyone: No. Earth people: How could you betray us like this? Everyone: Because you woke up all our deadliest enemies and bring g ...

PWalter's caught getting coffee when sh*t goes down in the gate room. Siler manages to avoid injury for once. Daniel is very bad at stealthy rescue missions, but fortunately Teal'c's got it covered. No thanks to Jack who hesitates to act if it jeo ...

FRTS finds a not-at-all-silent-but-deadly gas that can power the gate enough to bring the crew home. But if there is anything wrong, surely our buddy, Shep, will figure it out.

We discuss the logistics of keeping horses 26 stories underground. How many horses can you fit down there? Do they get to go to the surface to graze? How well do they fit on the elevators? How smelly is it? Also there's some lovers' spats but th ...

There's negotiations and trade and surprises and betrayal, but most importantly there's Chief Miles Edward O'Brian! Nice!

A billionaire builds an Asgard! Thor is actually available for once! Mary is cool with being a Borg if it improves her marathon time!

We spend more time talking about dip, Steves, and montages than is probably reasonable. There's some Stargate stuff in there too.

What catches more attention than a gold forehead tattoo? Being a giant man dressed like you just stepped out of the 70s and taking down a bunch of thugs with a large audience of bystanders. In other news, Pete used his stalking skills for good this t ...

We're gonna go out on a limb here, but we're pretty anti-suicide and anti-child-labor. Thankfully the SG Atlantis team is too.

Hopeless Teal'c is a sad thing to see, but of course the rest of the team has his back. And Kathy is willing to scare the crap out of people for altruistic purposes so she's got our backs too.

The Earth People and the Athosians don't trust each another. Who could have guessed that? We could. We guessed that.

A devastating war has broken out on a planet. But who cares about all that death and destruction? All that really matters is how it all affects Daniel.

A bunch of stuff happens but none of that is important. All that matters is that we finally learn what happened to the back of Kawalsky's head.

Jack struggles with his new job. Dr. Lee struggles with a giant plant. Some random delegates struggle with negotiations. Ba'al struggles with getting Camulus handed over to him. Life is hard at the SGC.

This episode seems very familiar. Don't they have any A"new"bis ideas?

Oh no! A smoke monster! No, not that one from lost. No, not that one from an upcoming episode of Stargate Atlantis. A different one. Secretly made from slime instead of smoke.

We've made some new friends, so does it really matter that we've released a terrible scourge on the galaxy?

Meet John Sheppard. He likes Antarctica and ferris wheels! He's got a magic gene and magic security clearance. He's the Jack of Pegasus! OMG OMG It's Stargate Atlantis time! Thanks to Assisting Editor, Greoffrey!

Thor defrosts Jack! Fifth builds a girlfriend! The Goa'uld plot is totally sidelined! All versions of Pete suck!

Fifth is displeased with Sam. Yu is displeased with snacks. Weir and Daniel are displeased with everything. But Sam and Teal'c are very pleased with donuts and a few rounds of Truth or Dare...we assume.

Teal'c and Bratac get betrayed by yet another "rebel jaffa" who is not actually a rebel jaffa. Jack does pretty much all the things you'd expect him to do based on what happened the last time he put his face in some alien tech. But in actual news, ...

Life Advice from Mary and Kathy: Watch "Pigs in Space." Don't eat a whole box of donuts. Don't shave sideways. Clean your phone often. Watch this episode of "Stargate SG1" because it's finally good again.

The boring episode of boringness that we bored our way through.