Episodes

Teal'c kills Daniel! Jack and Sam make out! Rodney keeps trying to make Gateship happen! Does any of it really matter if it occurs in an alternate timeline? Who knows?

Teyla is accused of espionage, there's a surprise wraith in the city, one of our favorite characters dies, Atlantis' only hope of defense is too glitchy to stand up to the wraith ships, and Mary spilled her protein shake. It's bad. It's all bad.

SG-1 screws up the timeline and everything is the worst. Sam and Daniel wear boring earth tones, Jack is filthy, Rodney is a creep, Kinsey is president and there's no stargate. Good job, guys.

Teyla reads Wraith minds! Teyla has nightmares! Teyla does therapy! Teyla finds a "secret lab!" Teyla eats soup! Have we mentioned this episode is all about Teyla?

We say goodbye to a whopping four characters in this episode. Our emotions run from sad to delighted. And no, of course Daniel is not one of those characters.

There’s clips and bickering and moral failings. We’re 50/50 on whether these things are enjoyable to watch.

Everyone on the team contributes to the win: Teal'c makes reaction faces, Daniel dies again, Jack rescues Siler, Sam hangs out with the Ba'alogram, Bratac gloats, and Jacob/Selmac act put out.

It's like Indiana Jones but without the best parts of Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford).

RepliCarter T1000's Yu. Anubis has some major freezer burn. Jack is even more Jack than usual. A jaffa has a wardrobe malfunction. It's a weird episode.

When faced with your own alter-ego, do you call each other by your first name? When you find out your frenemy's alter ego (and hundreds of other people) all died in a different timeline, is it okay to make fun of him? If you are in mostly-suspended ...

We talk about a guy talking about episodes we’ve already talked about, which we talk about again in describing this episode.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, and we didn't expect to be so bored.

Did Kinsey drink all the scotch or did Jack? How does no one notice the super-obvious surveillance vehicles?? Where did all these hagfish come from??? Is that really it for the Trust and Kinsey???? Vodka or gin????? So many unanswered questions.

No one but John Sheppard can save Atlantis. He will do anything he can--disobey his boss, needlessly put a bunch of people in danger. Anything.

There's some blasphemy, some bad descriptions of Medieval Europe, and it takes us 20 minutes just to get to credits. We're on our A game!

Team FRTS drifts off in all directions with one particularly loud one becoming very offensive to a newly awoken wraith. Meanwhile, Kathy and Mary lose their minds trying to figure out how a life signs detector quantifies life signs.

We get introduced to Vala. Another strong female character. But unlike Sam or Fraiser, she's kinda the worst. Additionally, Kathy and Mary debate at length over just how slimy the inside of a used super soldier's armor would be. It may be more in ...

Team FRTS is silent but deadly as three of the four members sneak around the city. Meanwhile Rodney loves when a plan comes to together. Especially when it's his plan.

Sam just can't resist giving computer access to any rando that wants it. At least Teal'c is there holding the Big Gun with his big guns for protection. Meanwhile, Jack's off having dreams about two Sams. Fun Fact: This episode is the winner of Ca ...

Earth people: Like us, even though we woke up all your deadliest enemies and bring guns to peaceful negotiations! Everyone: No. Earth people: How could you betray us like this? Everyone: Because you woke up all our deadliest enemies and bring g ...

PWalter's caught getting coffee when sh*t goes down in the gate room. Siler manages to avoid injury for once. Daniel is very bad at stealthy rescue missions, but fortunately Teal'c's got it covered. No thanks to Jack who hesitates to act if it jeo ...

FRTS finds a not-at-all-silent-but-deadly gas that can power the gate enough to bring the crew home. But if there is anything wrong, surely our buddy, Shep, will figure it out.

We discuss the logistics of keeping horses 26 stories underground. How many horses can you fit down there? Do they get to go to the surface to graze? How well do they fit on the elevators? How smelly is it? Also there's some lovers' spats but th ...

There's negotiations and trade and surprises and betrayal, but most importantly there's Chief Miles Edward O'Brian! Nice!